To whom do you give your trust?
Our hearts are so tender; so fragile. One heartbreak, is like another beating to it. It's another scar, another blood drop, another wound, and another wall built up. Before you know it, around and around these walls build up, and your heart is left isolated; hiding within the darkness of your pain and ever-growing inability to trust again.
In this position, it is difficult to see the goodness that lies just beyond those walls of pain and anger. Every time you look up and every time you see another opportunity to love and be loved again, all you can see are those walls.
It's easy to stay in these hard places, tucking our true selves away for the sake of protecting us from more pain. Yet, the irony is and will always be that these self-defense mechanisms and walls we build up are only desirable in the appropriate time and the appropriate situations. Once they've done their job, it's time to let them go. I mention this because, it would be delirious of me to state that these walls are never useful. They are... at the appropriate time and within the appropriate spaces. Allow me to further explain: never give your trust to someone who is unable to handle it; a deadbeat boyfriend, a greedy friend, a cruel boss. Negative people can not cherish the beauty of your heart. Don't give them the opportunity to. It is in times like this, where past hurts can give you wisdom to not make the same mistakes and guard your heart from toxic sources.
So, the question still remains: to whom do you give your trust?
The proper answer is God if you're in Spirit with me.
Nevertheless, I won't sit here and indulge in my selfish attempt to paint myself in a beautiful light. "God" is what my answer should be but is it always? In the moments when my heart is hidden within the confines of those dark and bitter walls, I fail to come to the realization that God is above those walls. I only look around me, as opposed to looking up. That's where the Savior is. He's up- above the walls, the pain, the agony. And once you reach your hand up for Him to pull you up and out of the confines of those walls, you'll realize that He is the joy beyond those walls, as well. The whole time, He was knocking on them and beckoning you toward Himself.
Yet, no. Sometimes, this beautiful and true illustration of His love for us is still difficult for me to see. I am unable to get my heart to align with it. In these times, read Psalm 139 and know the magnitude at which He has already broken down those walls. From there, build your trust on the firm foundation that is the love of Christ.
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